Secret Origin of SNICKS!

I first became aware of the young man known to the world as Snicks a few years ago, when I subscribed to my first ever blog (see link section for Snicks!) after meeting him at a secret lodge (the Concilium Campus Foculus) where we are both initiates. Truly a modern renaissance man, his stellar example of blog Godhood led me to abandon MySpace and xanga for Blogspot in the first place. His take on pop culture, his tastes in 80's New Wave and other music, and his wit are legendary. Although I miss his Snick's Lost 80's, Snicks (a High Priest of WhiteWingedDovism) has been spreading his white wings a bit further these days stimulating brain cells and humor at the same time.

He's been writing for AfterElton, has assembled a playground with his family, (an eerie yet sublime dreamscape, certain to inspire the kiddies of today with a view of the world through a funhouse looking glass, darkly), monitored truly heinous plastic surgery disasters and political candidates, exemplifies the perfect role-model for uncles and pet-lovers, Tilda Swinton promotion, and male-enhancement expose's, yet still manages to keep us apprised of the most interesting reflections of the world around us, supplying the most interesting pop-culture apocrypha available on the web.

One might ask, then, who is Snicks...and how does he do it?


Some say it is his devotion to WhiteWingedDovism, a modern offshoot of the ancient Keltic Traditions following Rhiannon, Goddess of Horses in the Welsh Mabinogian. Growing up, young Snicks led a somewhat sheltered life. Although young Snicks dreamed of a career in wrestling, and simply being in the lockerroom caused his red american blood to throb in his veins, he was dismissed as too "bookish" by many of the young men he dreamed of challenging "on the mat".



One night, alone in his room, Snicks was dancing in his underwear with the lights off. The light of the full moon cast his dancing shadow on the wall as a haunting sound reached his ears... whoo, baby, whoo, baby, whoo... Grabbing his robe, Snicks ran to the hall "Me, baby, me, baby, me?" he cried aloud, thrown back by a blast of salty welsh air and a fluttering of white wings.



Snicks, his robe in tatters, slowly turned, and a vision of the Goddess Rhiannon loomed above him.


" Well I see you doing... What I try to do for me With the words from a poet... And a voice from a choir And a melody... nothing else mattered"

"Believe in your dreams", she cooed. "Carpe Diem, joke' em if they can't take a fuck, and get out there and have fun!"

"It's like I always say...just like the white winged dove... Sings a song... Sounds like shes singing... Ooo baby... ooo... said ooo Just like the white winged dove... Sings a song... Sounds like shes singing... Ooo baby... ooo... said ooo.

and, umm, take this gift and spread the word, Snicks, my favorite child.....




"Ummmm, What?" Snicks said, grabbing a handful of Funyuns. Then, suddenly, the light faded and Snicks stood standing in the hall, his tattered blue robe draped artfully from his desklamp, and a faint scent of Gypsy Rose perfume and onion powder lingering in the air. Snicks looked everywhere, but the only lamp left on in the house was his desk lamp, a blue lamp.

And indeed, Snicks has carried the message of the white winged dove in his heart, demonstrating it in his actions each and every day. The guys in the locker room notice the twinkle in his eye, the spring in his step. And though he masquerades as a mild mannered library consultant by day, he entertains the world by night and weekend at who knows what by night. Snicks, wherefore art thou?

Mark Kjeldsen, the lost voice of Power Pop

Music, when soft voices die
Vibrates in the memory -
~Percy Bysshe Shelley

A few posts down I wrote about the Sinceros, one of the great overlooked power-pop bands of all time. Mark Kjeldsen, the man who fronted the group wrote most of their songs. He had one of the most beautiful voices in power-pop, vibrantly illuminating the songs he wrote for the Sinceros and on a 7' single he released. Falling In and Out of Love, from Pet Rock, simply sparkles, and was later covered by Tracy Ullman. There is more on the net these days about the Sinceros than there used to be, but still little is known about what happened to this band. The band was poorly promoted, it seems, and whispers of creative differences can be found. The sad discovery that Mark died of AIDS in the 1990's after working as a cabbie in Holland, comes across as a mere footnote in articles at Wikipedia and the few places you will find if you search for him.

For what it's worth, it's more than a footnote to me. I was living in a small Kansas town when the New Wave was at it's height, though I was fortunate (and resourceful) enough to find the music I discovered through Saturday Night Live, HBO's Video Jukebox, Rolling Stone magazine and the Readers Guide to Periodical Literature ( yes there were information resources before the Internet) through mail order, and trips to Lawrence and KC (and God love my Mother for helping me find it. She didn't understand the music, but she understood how important it was to me). And so I had New Wave, I had the Sinceros, and Pet Rock inspired me to hang in there and be true to myself and I felt free, and hopeful.

Mark Kjeldsen was a beautiful man, and he made beautiful music. The spark his music nurtured in me, and in others, lives on. New Wave for me was the promise of new beginnings in a world which felt isolated and far from the world I wanted , and the lesson that life is full of new beginnings, if we have the eyes to see it. Power Pop, indeed.





 UPDATE: July 01, 2015  Amazon now has 2 versions of "Pet Rock"  by the Sinceros available for download! Lots of extra cuts!

Sinceros "Pet Rock" at CD Universe!

Quote of the Day

"Religion used to be the opiate of the masses, now it's the crack cocaine of assassins"
- Lydia Lunch

Paisley Park was in his mind... but it was also a Family Affair

The eighties were an interesting time for the man from Minneapolis known at various times as Prince, Prince Rogers Nelson, that ostentatious and ultimately annoying symbol, and eventually, back to just Prince. He started the decade with the brilliant troika of Dirty Mind, Controversy and the double LP 1999, which launched him to superstardom. Hot on the heels of 1999, the movie and album Purple Rain cemented his stature as a musical genius. He reveled in creating controversy and a baffling whirl of uncertainy about how much was his work, and who did what. Was he or wasn't he really Jamie Starr, engineer on Dirty Mind, producer of The Time and Vanity Six, derided by Prince himself on 1999's dancefloor classic D.M.S.R?


As Alexander Nevermind he wrote the delightfully risque Sugar Walls for Sheena Easton. There's no doubt the man is a bona fide musical genius, though he had the advantage of having excellent musicians to work with as well. Some of the projects which burst from the Prince scene were clearly Prince projects with guest vocals, (most notably Vanity Six), others such as the Time had first rate musicians behind the helm (in this case Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis) who generally didn't last long in the world of his Royal Purpleness. Jam and Lewis went on to success producing R&B hits for S.O.S Band, Cherelle, and Alexander O'Neal, ousted from the Time early on to be replaced by Prince pal Morris Day. Other people ousted from the early Prince phalanx included the very talented Andre Cymone (out after Controversy), Dez Dickerson, even Vanity, (replaced by Patricia " Apollonia" Kotero for Purple Rain). Many just passed through, seemingly without controversy, to careers of their own. Two of my favorites, Wendy Melvoin & Lisa Coleman (recording as Wendy & Lisa, their Revolution monikers), simply left on their own (after Parade), releasing a number of under appreciated albums yet working steadily and successfully through the nineties, later recording as the Girl Bros. They have also established themselves as composers in film and TV Dangerous Minds, Soul Food, and TV's Crossing Jordan, and the brilliant soundtrack to Heroes. An essential part of the chemistry that drove The Revolution, they have remained friend's with Prince, performing with him from time to time, reuniting with him on last year's Planet Earth, one of his best releases in ages.

It was around the time of Around the World in a Day and Parade that Prince founded Paisley Park Records. Serving as a launch point for protege's like Jill Jones, Ingrid Chavez and Mazerati, as well as established artists as diverse as Mavis Staples, George Clinton, the Three O'Clock, and Dale Bozzio (from Missing Persons) Paisley Park also released Carmen Electra's only cd to date (sample lyrics- "I'm like a spider in heat in this web of love you've spun", "Oh, Speak American, NO! Speak Carmenese" "You stepped left, so I left your butt", and of course "Funk is in my round buns, baby") proving that with nothing to work with, the Purple One does not have the Midas Touch.


One of the most overlooked, and sadly, difficult to find projects. was the second release from Paisley Park, The Family. Although apparently they only performed one concert, and the self-titled first release was all there is, it's a great album. It has a couple of uptempo funk songs (the spirited High Fashion, and Mutiny) Beautiful ballads(Nothing compares 2 U, and my favorite, the beautiful Desire) and New Wave influenced tracks like River Runs Dry and the single Screams of Passion). Nothing Compares 2 U was a smash for Sinead O'Connor but for the most part this album went nowhere. The Family was formed from the ashes of the Time, and suffered from poor promotion. The single got little airplay and the video got very little exposure, which is a shame, since it's one of the most cohesive things (in and of itself ) Paisley Park put out. Around the World in a Day and Parade had some great tracks (Raspberry Beret, Pop Life, Kiss) that kept him in the charts but was uneven as a whole, and ended the golden age of critical and commercial acclaim he'd been riding. The Family was well crafted, with a lush orchestral feel, and a noir-ish look that Prince would later explore in Under the Cherry Moon. Formed in the wake of The Time's disintegration,The Family featured Paul "St. Paul" Peterson (who joined the group as keyboardist for Purple Rain and the the accompanying Time release Ice Cream Castles) as lead singer, and adding Susannah Melvoin, (Wendy Melvoin's sister) as vocalist. Paul Peterson left the group to seek more creative freedom, and Prince simply absorbed the remaining members into the expanded Revolution. According to St. Paul's website, the Family is reuniting with most of it's original line-up,

Bobby Troup and Julie London in the house...

Get your kicks with Bobby Troup and his lovely wife, the incomparable Julie London

because sometimes you need to just sit back, relax, and let the music flow through you.

Happy 50th Birthday Sylvia Stone

Whether you are here on earth or not, thank you for the love, and for being my angel.

The Sinceros

I first became aware of the Sinceros as Lene Lovich's backup band on her premiere album Stateless. This was around the time their second album Pet Rock was released, and it became one of my favorite album's of the early Eighties. It featured the wonderful song "Memory Lane" and the haunting gem "Disappearing" All in all, one of the most overlooked bands of all time, a group well worth remembering. Currently out of print, with a small but growing internet fanbase of bloggers willing to spread the word. Till there is a real release (after all, Elton Motello, The Dancing Cigarettes, Holly and the Italians, and other hard to find bands are finding new life in CD release and mp3 downloads at iTunes and Amazon, so surely there's hope) here is a video and a link to "Memory Lane". The YouTube Video below is a performance of their first single "Take me to Your Leader" from the album The Sound of Sunbathing. Enjoy! And help keep the music alive.



One of the best Sinceros tracks, lead vocals in this case attributed to Don Snow, later keyboardist for Squeeze, most recently performing as Jonn Savannah  (Links expired, working on getting new ones.  NOTE: Last.FM  now has 4 Sinceros tracks available!

Also, Pet Rock is now available at CD Universe!
Sincero's "Pet Rock" at CD Universe MP3's!

Cleaning out the files...

here are a few pieces from my online storage, practicing my skills with blogger

The Thinking Heart

With respect to Ursula Gestefeld...

Flowers

Spent the spring taking pix of the abundant flora in the area, mostly to sample for mandalas.

Here's a few examples.

Works in progress...

My Lucky Number...

Found a copy of "Stateless" by Lene Lovich at the Beaverton library. It was actually my favorite album my senior year in H.School



It' always interesting to look back and see what kind of lyrics appealed to you at certain times in your life, and which themes cycle around again...














By Lene Lovich

Take me, make me, mould me fold me, shape my body You could improve me, rebuild anew me, heat up or cool me But don't forget to wake me in time You know I had a lot on my mind These tired old eyes await a surprise I wonder what the future will bring Second verse Fix me, mix me, rearrange me, change my body Make it so pretty, they can't resist me, queue up to kiss me But don't forget to wake me in time You know I got to be first in line This sensitive child is changing her style The ugly duck is starting to smile

Open up your eyes You Sleeping Beauties must arise You're shaping up just fine So climb inside a brand new life

This twilight seems like an eternity The changes I go through are hurting me Do we become what we deserve to be ?

Open up your eyes You Sleeping Beauties must arise You're shaping up just fine So climb inside a brand new life

Spring is here!

Yep, I let things slide for a while on the blog front, but I'm Back! Here we go...

La Forza

"La Forza"

The World through Blue Eyes

It's always interesting the way things come together, sometimes in ways you least expect. It's been an interesting month since the last time I made an entry here. I spent some time travelling ( I have now seen the desert- hot during the day, cold at night, and dry, dry, dry). I went through about three different climates to get there. A change of environment can do you a world of good, and travelling can give you new eyes to see where you are at. I thought that when I made my next entry here it would be about what i saw travelling around the state, but in fact, I gotr a curveball which showed me more about where I have been, where I am, and how things fit together.

Somewhere in the middle of all of the travelling my young cousin Josh took his own life. 20 years old, the same age as his uncle who did the same, back in 1957. I could go on about what a loving sweet kid he was (and honestly, he really was). But what would be the point? My family has had it's ups and downs over the years, and it seemed like the whole family had finally gotten past that tragedy back in the fifties.


Marv's suicide cast a very long shadow over the family; his generation and the one that followed. He died long before I was born, yet we always felt his presence- in the unspoken , the silent pauses when he was mentioned, the occaisonal comment from the adults. I hadn't seen Josh since he was little, but the pain and anguish of his passing affected us all in ways we would not have anticipated; if anyone had seen it coming, and no one did. His mother discovered him, just as she found her brother back in the fifties. It was a nightmare, an indescribable nightmare. I was on the phone with my sisters, my aunt, and other loved ones. My Mom actually went to the funeral, the first gathering of that clan to include her since the divorce- was that 1991? I don't even recall. I have never been this far from home when my family had a crisis, and I'm just now getting over the homesickness that overcame me that week. But even long distance, we came together in a way I never would have thought 20 years ago, when it seemed like all we shared was conflict. There is a lot more than blood which binds a family together, something I really needed to learn again.

I love my family, and I am grateful for every one of my brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, Mother and Father(s). I was raised, for better or worse, by my stepdad, and for all our years of conflict, we have reached the point where I have realized that all those years together bonded us together. My "dad" died twenty years ago this month ( tomorrow would have been his 71st birthday. I loved him, but he was rarely there for me. He loved me, but we never really had a chance to bond. I was nearly a year old when they got me, I have often wondered is this made a difference. I think it did have some effect, but then again, he just never seemed to know what to do. And when my Mom left with me, because she couldn't communicate with him, because she couldn't be with someone so emotionally unavailable, I think he just gave up. He just wasn't very good at expressing his feelings, or acting on them But there were always people there for me, doing the best they could. I am very lucky, I have a large family. So large they aren't even all related to one another. And they have set aside a lot of differences sometimes, and shown that a very diverse group of people can come together when the need is there. I always felt a lot of tension between my families, and it was never eay to figure out where I belonged in all of it. Physically I have never felt that my family was a close biological match, and I was aware of comments made about these differences. Too aware, and I allowed it to feed my own insecurities for too long. Mostly I have already resolved that within myself, I know who my family is and I know who I am.

I called my biological mother back in the nineties, wanting to know more about myself. It was a brief and not altogether pleasant conversation. I called again in 99, driven by a need for more concrete information, and we barely talked a few minutes, I was rebuffed. Last Sunday I called her again, thinking "3's a charm". To my surprise, this blue eyed woman opened up, and we had a long conversation, heartfelt and very healing. I haven't even begun to process the impact of this event (I have wanted to have this conversation for years), but it felt good. Nature of Nurture? There are many ways in which I am like my family, the ones who loved and raised me. Still I saw much of myself eerily reflected during this conversation with the woman who gave me life. In the interest of privacy, (hers and mine), I have very little to say beyond that, but it was a very healing moment- for both of us. I no longer have a sense that I am just a ghost from long ago, (which I did, though I don't think I ever put it that way before) Whether a ghost from her past, or the ghost with blue eyes being raised in a brown eyed family. Something very deep has been resolved, something I always felt but never really knew. Difficult to articulate, but important nonetheless. Maybe I'll write more later, but for now that's all I have to say.


Life is not about sorrow, and sometimes things work out. Maybe they always work out for the best. All of a sudden my bright blue eyes don't seem to matter as much in a family with brown eyes. And any deep and lingering doubts I may have had about where I fit in the scheme of things have melted away. I belong where I choose to belong, and I love because I am loved. And I have great choices; funny how I never noticed that before. I have now.

The heart is an amazing organ, it pumps the blood which may people think of as the source of the bond between family members. But really, the heart does much more than that, it is a long held symbol of love, the love that brings us all together. And wherever people come together in a deep, enduring, and loving way, there is family. And I am deeply grateful for mine.

And Josh, rest in peace. I wish you could have found another way, we'll miss you. Whatever demons you carried, we will do better. Somehow you weren't able to feel the love we had for you in your darkest moment. The love we found in your passing was there all along, and I'm sorry you missed that. I for one, won't forget, and intend to do my very best to make sure the next generation doesn't forget either. Maybe that was your final gift to us. As the grieving lessens, I think this is what we'll find, the gift of love. and the truth of what bonds us together. Something which is always there. And will always be there, if we choose to see. Blue eyes or brown eyes, we only need to open our hearts to see the truth.

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes....

I'm moving this week, and I probably won't have time for an update till next week. I feel really good about this move, it was a long stretch at the old place, and honestly, I won't miss it a bit.
Looking forward to a fresh start.

LaoSue handled the train pretty well, gotta love light rail... She was, however tranquilized ( I had two left over from the plane trip to Oregon). Atlas slept through the train ride, but LaoSue was afraid she might miss something. A guy on the train took this pic and sent it to me.

a few more mandalas...

It was 104 degrees in Portland yesterday, pretty warm today, too. Hot, hot, hot, but still not as bad as KC in the summertime.

I thought I'd post a few more of the mandala's I've made in the last year or so...

I don't always follow tradition, but they are all meditations. Some more personal than others-they have meaning beyond that which the casual viewer would pick up, but still, each viewer will find their own meaning.

The process which by which I produce them is a meditation, and sometimes I approach them like keltic knots, tracing them with my eyes.






but mostly I just like to look at them,

or make another ...

and another...

one more...

Mandala

I make mandala's when I get the time, and when I feel like it. here's one from about two years ago...


and another...



I actually have hundreds of these going back nearly 20 years. The oldest are on paper, but I have really gotten a great deal out of using computer programs (these were done in photoshop), and most of them have been done in the last five years. Obviously, I'm not a purist. It's still a meditation, and I really enjoy the process. As I go through them, I may post a few from time to time...

a few interesting links, with resources

Exploring Mandala's

the Mandala Project- Peace through Art and Education

The Mandala Project

Wikipedia's entry- with interesting links

Mandala at Wikipedia

Shockwave Riding...

I love the public transit system here in PDX, such a refreshing change after all those years in KC, which sadly lacks any kind of sensible public transit at all- especially sad when you consider how spread out that city is, and how desperately it needs public transit- I love the trains especially, and I have been reading quite a bit more during my commutes (books on tape in a car just aren't the same). I'll be sharing my thoughts on some of these books in coming entries.

Many consider William Gibson's works such as Neuromancer to be the origins of the cyberpunk genre, but I have to say I think this honor may belong to John Brunner's Shockwave Rider, published in 1975. A world with a society linked by a worldwide system of networked computers (long before Al Gore invented the internet), an antihero worthy of any cyberpunk novel, a worldwide economy based on credit and data, people changing identity's at the drop of a hat (or stroke of a key)years before Madonna made an art of it- this book is a must read. The cyberpunk novels have all been written since the computer revolution of the 80's and 90's, which is one of the things which make this book so amazing. Brunner, heavily influenced by Alvin Toffler's Future Shock was amazingly prescient in his description of a world where the apocolypse came not in the form of nuclear annihilation, or dystopian military oppression, but from a post data overload world where people have lost the essence of their freedom simply because they became distracted and gave it away- to corporations and the government, which seem intertwined in Brunners world. I also found the his innovative writing style in this work has held up well. A few changes here and there, and it would make a great movie- maybe if A Scanner Darkly does well enough this summer, someone out there will run across it and see it's potential. It's certainly timely enough.

Invisible friends....

I have to admit that when i was younger I watched every single episode of 60's sci-fi cheesefest Lost In Space. And I recently wrote an episode review of my favorite episodes of that series at the Internet Movie Database.

I've never really told anyone why I got so hooked on Star Trek in the first place, that show being my initiation into the world of sci-fi. Truth be told, a few years after my parents broke up, I saw my first episode of Trek, and I thought William Shatner looked kind of like my dad. Not a ringer, but kind of in a way. Close enough for a seven year old who missed his dad, anyway. I don't even know which episode it was. I don't remember the first time I saw the episode of Lost in Space which stuck with me all these years, but I know I watched it every chance I could (I even have a copy on tape somewhere). It was called "My Friend, Mr. Nobody, and it touched me just as deeply, Lost in Space or not. In the first season they tried to be a serious drama, before they morphed into the camp classic everyone remembers.



My favorite character was Penny Robinson, and this epsiode focused on her and her invisible friend, who in fact is a non-corporeal alien life form, trapped in the center of a planet for millions of years, completely alone. The story is actually very well written, the acting strong, and minimal need for special effects decrease the cheese factor to the point where, standing alone in an anthology series like Twilight Zone or Outer Limits, it would be more well known as the classic it is. The score for this episode is lovely, even mystical, and it adds to the sense-of-wonder which makes this such a magical episode. Angela Cartright's performance as Penny is outstanding, ( she was already a seasoned vet at the time of this series), more than able to carry the episode focused on her character. The episode at it's core is an exploration of loneliness, in specific a lonely child and her search for comfort and companionship. And about the bond that can develop when loneliness is shared with another- a friend in a most unexpected form (or lack of form, in this case). It definitely spoke to me, and from time to time I still take it out and watch it. The strength of Penny's character in this episode is her openness, her willingness to believe in what is good, her willingness to love. Which is, after all, the only real remedy for loneliness.





I still find it cheers me up, and I have discovered that it is fondly remembered by others, as well- Google the episode and surf around, you'll find fan pages and other stuff out there. And if you spot this episode at the local movie store, (it's available on DVD, and I saw it at Movie Madness here in PDX) give it a shot. It might not be what you would ordinarily pick, but think about a lonely moment in your life, and see if it touches you.


here's a link to my review at IMDB

My Friend Mr. Nobody at IMDB

Loaded Words I : Notes on "Bitch"

I reached an overseas call center yesterday, and I spoke to a woman with an almost incomprehensibly thick accent. She interpreted everything I said literally, and seemed to have little or no comprehension of what the conversation was about. I was increasingly irritated, not so much by her struggle to convert our conversation in her head to her native tongue and back, but by her attitude, which was rude, and rather condescending. I could hear my hillbilly ancestors going off in my head- "Dammed Furriners"! After recovering from the shame of the white guilt moment that inspired, and further hassles because she still couldn't understand the (pitifully simple) order I was trying to place, I told her never mind, cancel it, for which I was rewarded with an immediate disconnection, no sorry, sir, no attempt to get a supervisor to help her with the order,no goodbye, nothing, just "click" . "What a bitch", I thought. I sat and thought about what I could learn from this. How much interpersonal intercultural conflict grows out of the assumption that race, culture, creed or lifestyle or other aggregate label is the causative factor in the conflict, when the issue really is that someone is just being a bitch?

Getting past the use of the word in animal husbandry (bitch as a female member of the canine species), the Oxford Dictionary has this entry on the word, generally attributed to old english via old norse.
a. Applied opprobriously to a woman; strictly, a lewd or sensual woman. Not now in decent use but formerly common in literature. In mod. use, esp. a malicious or treacherous woman; of things: something outstandingly difficult or unpleasant. (See also son of a bitch.)

This is of course, the official definition, but it has gone in so many directions in the colloquial that I think it bears a bit more of an in-depth examination., So, YO Bitches! Let's check it OUT!

I can be a total bitch sometimes, and certainly have been from time to time. Although men are usually referred to as assholes when they act like a bitch, I think there are subtle differences. Being an asshole implies a certain thoughtless brutishness, whereas a bitch knows how to plan. E.G. That manipulative little bitch!. To relegate this word's expression to the female gender seems to me rather sexist and frankly inaccurate. Anyone can scheme, and many do. There are numerous online references to the use of the word in gay slang, especially in the parlez of Drag Queens- "That bitch over by the bar won't even look at me". And women have reclaimed the word B*I*T*C*H*. Being In Total Charge of Herself- see the Bitch Manifesto in the links section. And it there are even those who have elevated the word to spirtual use- check out

the Bitch from Hell

for more on that.


And then there's the use as a greeting via urban vernacular "Wassup, bitch", or its uses as a term of sexual relationship as in I gots to go pick up my bitch for the party, or biker slang such as riding bitch, to take the back seat on ones bike, implying a certain submission to the person up front.

To be a bitch is not the same, however as bitching, or acting like a bitch. "That supervisor is such a bitch" is not quite the same as "she was being such a bitch today".

When it comes to men, you will hear "what an asshole" applied to that anal retentive, opinionated hard-ass who has chosen not to communicate or reason through a problem or issue, and although he probably really needs to be bitch-slapped, he may not actually be a bitch. An asshole is usually out-of-control, whereas a scheming, manipulative bitch can't ever seem to let go of control. There is perhaps some cosmic irony in the fact that both really need to loosen up. A man who continually disrupts his estranged wife's job by refusing to pick up their child when she has to go to work is certainly an asshole. Refusing to pay child support to try to force her to move back in is either being an abusive asshole or a bitch, and probably both. What makes him a bitch is the scheme, the plot, the plan to control another through verbal manipulation (gossip), financial manipulation (deadbeat dad), or other forms of denigration and humiliation. An asshole frequently turns into a bitch when he's been defeated in the unsympathetic courts, or by social connections and groups of people who have seen through his shit. And a bitch in the workplace usually uses gossip and manipulation to further her/his own agenda (and cover their own shortcomings).This is especially obnoxious in the case of the office flirt who never does anything right, but bats their lashes and sticks out their ass when confronted, or the politicking management suck-up using targeted gossip to raise multple issues so that it becomes increasingly difficult to see what the issue is (e.g. they don't merit the promotion desired, or they lack confidence in the skills they may have). This is the "See how awful they are- Don't I look good now, and what would you do without me?" game. If bitching were a job qualification, they'd have it made. This scheming bitch will even take credit for the work of others, hiding their subterfuge with an attitude of superiority ("I'm just concerned with what's best for everyone").

Bitch is just a word. It expresses the feelings of the user, and if interpreted correctly by the listener, it can be a great word for making an assessment of a situation. It can be a compliment ("That Bitch is Fierce"), a warning ("Don't be such a bitch, it's exactly what he wants"), or an insult ("Fuck You, Bitch"). Perhaps more often than not, it sets off emotional responses in the listener which can really make the situation worse, which is a total bitch. "Bitchin" can be an expression of irritation ("Will you quit bitchin' about it and get off your ass"), or something totally awesome, ("Bitchin ride, dude").

A good bitch responds to the situation they find themself in, and a bad bitch reacts to theirs. Whether we keep our power or give it away depends on us, I think, which leads me to this conclusion- being a bitch is a choice, as is whether or not we have a bitchin' day, or go home and bitch about our day till we go to bed and start it all over again the next. We can view our neighbor or co-worker as a bitch, or we can see how strongly we are holding on to an opinion, or trying to control a situation. It's a real bitch (difficult situation) to figure it all out sometimes, but I guess we are all doing the best we can. I can only choose for myself, and if necessary, choose to do better next time.

Etymology of the word "Bitch"